Learning to pause is the first step toward transformation and healing in relationships. When triggered, we can take a deep breath before jumping to blaming, withdrawing, obsessing, or distracting ourselves. In the space a pause creates, our natural awareness can arise, allowing us to be mindful and to recognize what is happening inside us without judgment.
I love the Buddhist quote, “Before you speak, pass your words through 3 gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”
By pausing, we begin to unwind lifelong patterns of avoiding, attacking, and distancing.
In yoga philosophy, there is sukhaand sthira, meaning, respectively, softness and strength. When both are present, a deeper expression of a pose is accessed along with the feeling of flow and ease. When we have that same balance in our lives and relationships, we experience more joy and acceptance with how things are.
Yoga means to connect…to yoke together. The ritual of saying namasteat the end of a yoga class is the acknowledgement that our light recognizes and sees the light in another and creates connection on a deeper level. Cultivating connection within ourselves between our body, mind, and spirit enables us to manifest mindfulness and compassion. With mindfulness, we see clearly what is going on inside us, and with compassion, we understand we are all perfectly imperfect. We can respond to our partner with kindness and choose love over being right or in control.
Profound inner freedom is discovered when we allow ourselves to be seen. There’s beauty in opening our hearts to the people that we care about. When we realize that our experiences and struggles are often very similar if not the same, we can live authentically forming much stronger bonds.
The yoga of relationships is the practice of radical acceptance and nonreactivity by embracing our vulnerability and shining our inner light. It means that we have each other’s backs and we weather the storms of life together!
By Julie Bertagna; All Rights Reserved @2019